08 May, 2012


This started out as a very different post. I was going to recap recent events from my own point of view (ignorant as I am of so very much of it) and relate some of my own experiences with some of the "subject matter." It all got very personal and very depressing, and I decided that all of that was unnecessary and/or irrelevant, anyway. All I was left with were questions.

Why would someone who has their own feed locked down tight post something of such a personal nature on a feed that they know full well other people (people outside of their circle of friends who need only an account that isn't blocked by the feed owner) read and comment on, and yes, mock?

This is the internet. People can be unbelievably uncaring, cold and cruel. If I'm considering such drastic measures, I'm not going to announce it on the internet. And certainly not in a venue which I know has detractors that have stated that this is all a game in which they are playing roles. I censor myself even in closed venues, and with people that I've known for years.

This isn't meant as a criticism, by the way, nor am I "blaming the victim." I just don't understand the thought process there.

Why would anyone think that someone who has expressed very publicly their utter disdain for another party... why would they think that what that other party says would have any affect whatsoever on that person? Is that person really going to take what that other party has to say to heart? And make decisions and/or take possibly irreversible courses of action based on same?

Given that we are talking about what I believe is a well-adjusted adult, and not some angst-ridden teen, I think the odds are kind of slim. If I have nothing but contempt for someone, I simply don't care what their opinions are and I'm certainly not going to base my life choices on them.

It would seem to me that ascribing such power to that other party's words indicates that the people doing the ascribing either think very highly of that other party or very little of the target of those words.

Did the people who have expressed such outrage over this incident ask the person that they pretend to be "protecting" whether they were comfortable with them making so very much noise about it? Did they ever think to stop long enough to consider that they might not be comfortable with it?

If I announced that I intended to do something that I later thought better of, I would want as little fuss made about it as possible. You have concerns? Private message me, email me, text me, call me. Offer me your own, and possibly point me to other sources of, support.

You have problems with someone else whose input is unwelcome involving themselves? Take it up with them in a manner that is as discreet as possible, if you must. Maybe even ask me about it first because maybe, just maybe, I don't want you to make a big deal about it. Don't just climb up on your soapbox and start screeching, because you're really not doing me any favors by doing so. I've moved on and would rather forget about it, and would rather you did, too.

Who's a bully?

We've all heard the proverb "The enemy of my enemy is my friend." There are some who would turn that around to "The friend of my enemy is my enemy." I'll admit that I've sometimes been guilty of that sort of thinking. In my case, however, at least the friends of my enemy were not my friends to begin with.

Not everyone shares the herd mentality that says "If you're not with us, you're against us." There are those who are able to give everyone a fair shake and be friends, or at least be congenial, with just about everyone.

I've watched, on more than one occasion, people be driven from a group and relationships damaged beyond repair because they refused to condemn the actions of someone outside of the group. I witnessed it again this past week.

If that's not bullying, I don't know what is.

Lastly, let me just paraphrase one of the few people in that group that seems to have any sense:

Someone posted something that could be interpreted as a cry for help, and instead of reaching out to them, people are wasting their time taking shots.

That's tragic.

Note: I've decided to not allow any comments on this post. I have some sympathy for the only person who might be considered a victim here, and unlike some of their own friends I think their privacy is paramount. I've also removed my previous post in hopes of helping to preserve it.

Note to L_____ and D__: There is more than one Anonymous that has recently posted comments to your blog. I'll leave you to figure out which one I am.